Things I don't do much anymore
Things I don't do much of anymore: spend time on facebook, watch any news, blog on my site where I wrote about every small and big thing for over 10 years, share thoughts in writing longer than an Instagram caption or story, cook. Covid world ending months killed a lot of my creativity, which is of course the impetus for my writing and cooking, and I’m just now seeing it attempt to come back from near extinction so I’m nurturing it like a fragile egg and trying not to push too much.
My feelings on community and humanity have taken a beating since 2015. . . my cortisol levels too. I know many of you are in the same boat.
This is not an I told you so paragraph, this is a where my brain and heart are right now paragraph. I can't help but sit here and think about all the times over the past seven years I talked about and argued with people online and in person about not normalizing hate and violence, not believing and spreading misinformation, not standing with politicians who use dog whistles to cultivate the votes of hateful people out in American streets carrying flags of Nazi swastikas or loser confederates. But people did believe and spread misinformation and stand with politicians who gave shelter to neo-Nazis, and hate and dehumanizing people has been normalized.
Naturally hate crimes, antisemitism, islamophobia, fascism, Christian nationalism, etc. are all on the rise not only within these borders but globally. And let’s not forget there was a violent insurrection challenging our election in 2020 that at least half of the country tried to excuse like it was no big deal, and if anyone thinks that’s not on the table in 2024 I’d like to invite you to join me in the real world.
What we normalize matters.
What we allow matters.
As always, it is on every single person to confront antisemitism, islamophobia, racism, misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, and any other hateful behavior when we see and hear it. That responsibility existed before 2016 and will exist long after we’re all gone, but apparently it needs to be reinforced because I see a lot of antisemitism and islamophobia in the streets right now and neither are acceptable. I am pissed that Jewish people are feeling unsafe and targeted worldwide yet again. I am pissed that Muslim people are experiencing post-9/11 levels of hate again. Is now a good time to talk about how we are not teaching history as we should be, or is that too much for one post?
In this country, there is freedom of speech, but not freedom from consequence and fellow humans. . . I know we all have our own shit going on, but our swift and decisive reaction as individuals must be the consequence people engaging in dehumanization and hatred face. It is on every one of us to let others know we don’t fuck with antisemitism or islamophobia. Period.
Sometimes that means differentiating between related things and holding more than one truth at a time. Being against the actions of Hamas does not add up to dehumanizing Palestinian people or Muslims. Being against the actions of Israel’s government does not add up to dehumanizing Israeli people or Jews.
As a person who does not fuck with organized religion and does not believe in any of your gods but believes in your freedom to practice your religion in peace, I can also see how religion is increasingly destroying people's ability to coexist and how social media accelerates that to the moon. I feel the inability to coexist deep in my bones as Christian nationalists are organizing and legislating against the right to read what you want, love who you want, and have children when you want in America. Why in the good fuck should my life be dictated by what anyone thinks their god wants humans to be when I don’t believe in the existence of god at all and certainly do not believe in theocracies?
And as a non-religious person, I have to say I’m fucking furious there’s a war on about it (about it and as cover for other things, obviously, like land and resources etc) in 2023.
There’s a physical war we can all watch frame by frame 24/7 like we never could before we held computers in our hands that film and share everything in real time; and there’s a war in the comments. I’ve seen people get absolutely fucking hammered online for having empathy for Israeli and/or Palestinian civilians, calling for a return of Israeli hostages, calling for the eradication of Hamas, calling for humanitarian aid in Gaza, demanding Palestinians be able to move about freely, asking people to share information responsibly, calling for a ceasefire, being a pacifist. Not many things shock me anymore, but seeing pacifists attacked for wanting peace for all people has. Seeing people attacked for calling for all people perpetuating violence against others to stop has. Day after day we are out here asking each other to make declarations and walk a fucking tightrope in writing.
I used to be a person who demanded people speak up on social media. I’m not anymore for many reasons - a reminder to normalize changing your behavior, opinions, and actions when you have more information and are called to. If you are still actively in my life, I’m assuming you are moving from a place of love and justice. If you hold hate in your heart, you’re going to show it to me at some point and I’m going to respond accordingly. I have no hesitation or fear of being the consequence of your freedom to say what you want. I know not everyone is like that, but the good thing in this case is you don’t need to know anything about anything to say outright that it is wrong and unacceptable to hate someone because of their religion.
At all times in history, through all wars and violence and upheavals, life has continued on for everyone. We are in a time where we can watch that happen next to a story about a dead hostage or a child’s arm sticking up out of rubble. It feels unhinged to exist in the middle of those things, and to send our emails and make our dinners and pluck our chin hairs and watch our shows. We are in a time of a lot of pain and no peace with a collective heavy energy in the world. What the hell do you say about that day after day online?
This morning I opened my inbox and found an email from Penzey’s - cooks, I hope like hell you use their spices - and it felt like a hug. And it made me cry, and also made me want to cook this weekend, which I haven’t standardly wanted to do. Maybe it will feel like a hug to you too:
And Cooks Heal the World. Sometimes the hurt is so great it’s hard to see any path out of it. But day by day, meal by meal, the love of Cooks really can work something close to miracles. Israelis and Palestinians, Jews and Muslims, across America and across the world are in such pain right now.
There’s the hurt of just how monstrous the deaths in Israel on October 7 were, and the hurt of just how many more deaths there have been in Gaza since with seemingly no end in sight. Plus then the hostages. It’s all rotten. Just rotten.
Please share love with anyone you know related in any way to any side of all this. And if you are close enough that it wouldn’t be too weird, please share food, too. That’s where the magic happens, that’s where the healing begins.
You have more power than you know to make this a better world. Please give thought to believing this about yourself.